Insert Clever Mormon Title Here
by Roxas Destati
Summary: When Stan's finally comes clean with Kenny about his lack of bed activity, the blond is surprised. Unwilling to take on a random bedmate or a new girlfriend, he turns to the world of the internet as per the others (Rewrite/Repost/Mature)


Oh God this was stupid. So terribly and unbelievably stupid and.. and _wrong._

The thought did nothing but driving itself deeper and deeper into his brain even as he watched his computer screen blink to life, already in the states of starting up despite Stan's doubts and sweaty palms.

Doubts about what he'd do once he got onto the internet.

It was all Kenny's fault, it always was. All he could do was wish his perverse friend had never made the suggestion or even told him about that website, or what people did on it. Curiosity was eating away at the back of his skull like a damn tumor, consuming his ever wandering thoughts and making him incredibly nervous all at once.

What was worse was how it all started, the reason that he hated the most out of all the things to start this catastrophic snowball of bad decisions. It was such a small thing yet so colossal, that Wendy had broken up with him after years of dating. It was strange how something so seemingly simple as a relationship could turn a cool-headed guy like him, or so he'd like to think of himself, into such a hormonal and needy _ass_. One slip of the tongue was all it took to what was arguably the worst person to admit such an issue to, an issue the end of that very relationship caused.

And of course, Kenny, being the kind of guy he is, took it in stride. Though that wasn't always the greatest thing in the world.

"_You can't be serious."_

"_Shut up, Kenny."_

"_Dude, seriously? Wendy was your only-?"_

_Stan had fidgeted, brows furrowed. He really should have kept his mouth shut._

"_So you're sayin'.. you've never gotten laid by anyone else. No one? Dude it's been like what- four months already? And you're the star of the baseball team! Now that is one helluva cryin' fuckin' shame. And a waste, man. I know whats-her-face was crushing on ya hardcore and y'know how bad she was trying to get into your pants at that party back during Spring Break. She's always been an open door for ya. Are you sure you're not like.. gay or something?"_

_This really honestly couldn't have been more mortifying. "Kenny! Dammit, I'm not gay! I just- dude, I don't really know. It's just.. ugh. After Wendy, I don't really want any other girls."_

"_Then switch teams, dude. Get some ass."_

_His mouth dropped open and he blanched, face red. "I can't just- Kenny, I still like girls I just-"_

"_You just don't wanna fuck one."_

"_Well.. y-yeah."_

_Kenny leaned back one his hands as he stared hard at Stan entirely seriously, a sight Stan himself rarely had a chance to see even after years of friendship. He really should have known that Kenny would take any sexual problem seriously. It was the blonde's area of interest after all, his forte._

_He stared hard at his lap in turn, completely at a loss. The whole situation had been awkward and yet important to him, after all, he never would have mentioned it at the start if it hadn't been bothering him so badly. _

"_Well.. how about the internet?" The suggestion had drawn Stan's gaze up once more to meet Kenny's own thoughtful look, his own expression doubtful._

"_What, like porn? Don't you think I've tried that?"_

_Kenny snorted. "Nah, I'm sure you have. There's this one site though that I know of called Omegle or something where you can video chat with anyone. No usernames or registration and all that irritatin' shit required. It's just you and a stranger and if you don't like the person you're talkin' to, you can just end the conversation and move on to a new stranger. It's all anonymous and shit."_

_Stan had simply stared openly at him for a pause. "What, and like, jack off to them? Dude, gross!"_

_A shrug. "Dude it's all anonymous like I said. Ya don't even have to show your face, just tilt your cam down, man. I've seen some reaally cute girls on there who've gotten aaalll kinds of naked for me."_

"_Dude that's just wrong. There's no fucking way I'm doing that."_

He was wrong, so wrong because even as he recalled his own words, there he was sitting there, opening up that very website with his intestines in knots.

Stan stared hard at the option he was suddenly presented with; chat or video. He knew the moment he picked, he would have to go through with it, unwilling to chicken out even if there was no one there to know he'd done so to start with. It was the shame that backing out would cause, the thought that he's back off because of some silly site, some idle stranger. However, deep down, the athlete knew he'd feel ashamed either way for turning to something so-.. so _dirty_.

Uttering a groan at his nerves and irritatingly fragile stomach, he double checked in another window that his webcam was stubbornly aimed at his shoulders and down to show only his white wifebeater and dark blue sweatpants.

A deep breath.

A click.

He was in.

It really wasn't long before the videos began and Stan was catching the hang of it fast, observing and disconnecting nervously and rapidly to start with without even knowing what it was he was looking for. There was a time, as with all similar sites, that he was met with a partner whose screen was filled with nothing but cock and a hand working said shaft rather furiously.

It took a little while for him to continue after that.

Once the searing heat faded from his cheeks, Stan was able to continue on to the next person. Some of the images he was met with were simple and innocent; pretty girls, young kids of all genders, middle aged men ranging from attractive to past their prime. There were moments he lingered, a few sentences shared here and there but found himself always disinterested almost instantaneously with each stranger be them male or female.

The male part he'll probably keep a secret.

Stan paused in between chats and grunted irritably.

What was he even _doing_ anymore?

Frustration ate at him like a parasite, doubt whispering into his ear that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't find what he was looking for. Whatever the hell that was in the first place.

"This is fucking ridiculous." Yet he found himself moving on to the next stranger anyway, assuring himself that this one would be the last one, that he'd just forget the whole idea and go back to regular porn after this like the good little pervert he was. It was bound to fail anyway.

It was strange how things worked out the moment you have those thoughts.

He was greet with a tilted cam much like his own for a view of a simple brown T-shirt and jeans, their wearer obviously male. The other didn't bother typing, choosing instead to actually address him directly.

"So, you like the anonymity too, huh?" The others voice was a pleasant male tenor through the general static of a webcam quality mic.

Stan resisted the urge to fidget as he was prone to do, opting instead to humor the other male as a small wave of relief crashed over him regarding the instant recognition of his intentions with his tilted cam. It was also a nice way to start off a conversation, he had to give him that. "Yeah I'm just.. I don't know."

The other male shifted after a moment, leaning back comfortably in the desk chair he was inhabiting. "You aren't used to this sort of thing. I can understand that."

"Are you?"

"No, not really."

A sheepish grin slid across his lips despite that the other male couldn't see. "Yeah.. I'm not really into this sort of thing. It's mostly a uh.. curiosity thing I guess."

The stranger chuckled softly. "That's reasonable. Everyone's got those moments. I guess maybe that's what led me here as well. My religion isn't exactly accepting of gay relationships so I suppose this is my way of cheating the rules."

All the luck in the world, ironic or otherwise, and my managed to land someone who actually understood what was going on, how he felt. The tight coil in his chest unwound to allow him room to relax, to be taken in by the other male's soft and polite tone.

"So um, what should I do? How do you even..." Stan flushed silently, not bothering to finish his sentence, partially nervous that the other didn't even intend for anything to actually go down. He hadn't exactly said 'hey let's jack off together'. But fuck, where was his confidence? Where were his damn balls?

"Well, if you want, you can tell me to do something and I'll do it for you," his partner supplied helpfully, patiently even. A pause, a silent moment of shifting about, consideration about what to do.

"Have you-.. done this before?"

"Not necessarily, no. I'm kind of ah, fumbling around in the dark like yourself so to speak."

It was a comfort to hear, true or not.

"Okay well.. How about um.. take off your shirt?" That wasn't so bad, something small and simple to test the waters with. The only bad part, he supposed, was the timidity of his voice as he said it. Balls.

The other didn't comment on his lack of bravado, instead complying in a manner that could only be described as calm and leisurely as he grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and slid the material over his head. Stan swallowed, faced with the sight of an exposed male chest in an entirely new light with toned muscles similar to his own to leave him wondering if the other was an athlete in turn. A deep flush formed in his cheeks. Oh sure, he'd seen plenty of men shirtless but God was this _different._

Stan was met with a gesture to that same chest, a joking tone. "Good enough for you?"

He smiled softly, glad for his concealment for the continuous stain of red that was quickly becoming his face. "Yeah, it's fine."

"All right so.. would you like to lose your shirt as well? If you're shy I understand."

Admittedly, there was quite a lot of false security to be found in the others mannerisms and considerate attitude. It was almost refreshing to a point and Stan found himself unable to find the will to resist or resent it, leading him to eventually comply with the others request. His calloused fingers slid down to hook beneath the hem of his shirt before sliding the fabric up and over his head, careful to keep out of sight. Once his torso was exposed, toned from years of parent-pressured sports, he found himself suddenly more confident, comforted by his anonymity. He'd taken the first step, a point of discomfort passed and it was suddenly all he'd needed to feel infinitely better about the situation.

"You seem like you take pretty good care of yourself and the view isn't half bad either." A pause as they both seemed to snicker over the others choice of words. "Sports?"

"Yeah. Baseball and a lot of football when I was younger. How about you? You're not so bad yourself."

'Not so bad' was an understatement, Stan was finding the other male attractive enough to jump start a rather familiar stir of feeling below the waistband of his pants. And he hadn't even seen his face.

Another well tempered chuckle. "I did lacrosse for a long time when I got tired of tennis and wrestling," the stranger leaned forward a bit in his chair, leading Stan to a closer view of his chest. "But I suppose the line I should use here is.. how about you show me just how you _really_ take care of your body?"

Stan flushed a deep and shy red but didn't refuse the come-on, mind scrambling for a comeback though his mouth seemed to be way ahead of him as he replied playfully, "Only if you give me the same benefit."

They'd both successfully overlooked the near cheesiness of their new manner of speaking to one another, neither commenting that the other sounded like he was discovering some deeply hidden pervert within himself. Rather, it continued on, evenly balanced by their soft tones laced with shy or teasing smiles. "Oh? I think I can do that."

Another pause found Stan who in turn found himself both surprised and not by the others response. A grin was spreading his lips, enjoying his partner's audacity than he usually would and knowing it was giving him the confidence he needed to respond in kind. For all he knew, the other could be doing the same as him, testing the waters, fueled by a growing arousal for the other. Or maybe he was secretly experienced. Or maybe.. he was just a natural at this.

The dark-haired male swallowed a moment, clearing his throat and his reserves fell aside in the face of a new question that he would have dreaded more than anything to ask anyone else in any other situation. "Will.. will you lead?"

He could almost hear the huge friendly smiling in the other male's voice as he responded, "Sure thing. If you get uncomfortable, you can always just tell me or even end the conversation. Don't be afraid to say anything, okay?"

Stan felt himself nod, despite being out of view. He was sure the insightful male knew he agreed anyway, he just seemed like that sort of person who would just know. He watched him shift on screen, leaning back into his desk chair comfortably and inciting him to do the same. Watching his own screen warily to make sure his head stay ever out of sight, his blue eyes flicked back up to see a pair of hands sliding down a lean torso slowly, bordering on teasing. They lingered here and there, looking for all the world like the other led them along with purposeful and calculated thought rather than confidence and very aware that he was following every digit intently with his gaze. When they lingered at the hem of the pair of jeans hanging low on his hips, the jock's mouth went dry. His libido spiked and suddenly the air in the room was a hundred degrees hotter.

And oh boy, did his libido spike.

The hand paused and Stan barely contained the smallest of whines, ready for more, but they only remained at a stall, almost absently stroking the button of his jeans. It took a moment but soon the baseball player got the hint and took a deep breath as broad and calloused hands took their place at his navel before dragging slowly down. The flush in his cheeks only deepened and he suddenly felt downright foolish for touching himself in such a way, but then.. he had agreed to it after all. It was discomfort just as much as it was uncertainty on his part.

However, his insecurities and nerves once again flew out the door the moment he noticed the stranger on his screen was beginning to unbutton his jeans to slowly drag down the zipper with an almost irritating calm just as his own fingers reached the waistband of his own sweatpants. Stan watched those same teasing fingers slowly inch beneath the telltale fabric of a pair of briefs lying in wait beneath the other male's jeans and found himself following suit, imagining his own rough hand to be that of the man on the other end of his cam. The thought made his blood and the sight that much hotter as he wondered what it felt like to touch the other, what sounds he'd make in response, if he'd arch in the touch, or whine.

He heard the softest of groans as that same hand inched further and further out of sight, earning an envious stir of heat deep in his gut. His tongue darted out to lick suddenly dry lips almost eagerly, his fingers sliding beneath the hem of his sweats to brush heated, stiffening flesh.

"That's it..." he heard himself mutter softly without thought, noticing the familiar motions the other was making within the confines of his underwear and knowing them well. Stan groaned softly, his fingers sliding around to properly grip the hard-on that had sprouted up rather painfully somewhere between the streets of Nervous and Horny to give it a few slow gentle tugs. His tongue slid across his lips again, lingering at the corner of his mouth as he wondered what the others lips looked like, felt like, _tasted_ like.

"Come on.. Show me more?" The dark-haired male shuddered at the request, knowing they'd crossed far over into new and exceedingly foreign territory, but he couldn't resist the soft tone and the gentle want in the others voice. Without hesitation but with plenty of awkward clumsiness to spare, he lifted himself up in the chair a bit awkwardly before hooking his thumbs in the band of his sweats and slid them down. His face flushed dark as soon as he felt the chilled air of his room hit the heat of his erection. The though occurred to him that maybe he was wandering too far, crossing a line, but he was beyond the realm of caring any longer the moment he heard that voice coaxing him again as his hand slipped up along his torso absently, curiously. "Yes just like that.. you're doing great."

He whined, the sound nearly inaudible. His clouded blue eyes trained on the gentle looking hand beginning to push down the pair of jeans obstructing his being able to view the other male properly. The motions were slow, almost teasing with each exposed inch. A happy trail of blond hair marked the journey his eyes made as they slid down the slender form, also letting him in on the color of hair that sat upon the stranger's head. Stan's mind mimicked those delightful hands, imagining what it'd be like to have them on him. He knew just from watching that they'd tease him, stroke him gently and make him squirm.

Stan's fingers grasped his erection again, stroking the hardened flesh just as the blond's cock came into view. His breath shorted and his teeth worried his bottom lip as he concentrated, watching those same hands grip the erection presented to him on the screen. He found himself wishing those hands were his. Or his mouth even.

Fuck, he really was gay wasn't he?

Well, either way, it was damn good thing he'd made sure no one was home before doing this.

"F-..fuck.." he muttered low, voice rough and breath short.

His heart thudded in his chest and his ears though they strained to catch any uneven breathing over his own ragged breaths. As his fingers slid and gripped, he slowly pumped his cock in a way he hoped would come off as coy or even teasing to the other male watching. His skin felt hot and knew well and good those eyes were on him and only him now despite their being out of view. If anything, it only served to drive him higher, hand pumping a little faster, legs spreading a little wider.

"... Open them wider. Let me see, baby."

Stan moaned low in his throat and barely heard the blond do the same when his hips jerked helplessly in his hand, imagining the other holding his hips down. His back arched just a bit and he watched his partner's hand move faster, excited by his display as he wanted. Encouraged further by his reaction, he slid his hand down and leaned back in his chair completely, exposing a bit of his chin and maybe a bit of his mouth to the webcam. He couldn't be sure when his mind was in such a fog. He reached his balls with his free hand and moaned again, the hand on his cock moving smoothly now from the steady dribble of precum as he massaged at the base of his sack. It only helped his thighs to spread just a bit further as the blond wanted.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel dirty or even a bit of shame deep in the back of his mind, but he was fast traveling far into the realm of 'I simply could not give two fucks right now'. Sure, right at the moment he was probably something to like at, a star baseball player of South Park letting a complete stranger convince him to spread his legs like some sort of horny preteen, but he was damn well happy to do it. Stan was so tired of being in control, tired of taking the lead, and right then he could even admit he was tired of women.

Maybe this is what he'd been needing all along.

"That's right.." the voice was deep now, husky with a hint of breathlessness. Stan shuddered again, the shiver wracking through his whole body.

How was he even _doing_ that to him?

Stan rubbed the callous pads of his fingers further down, not realizing what he was doing as he steadily pumped himself. He was rising higher and higher into the throws of climax, desperately trying to reach the bliss he'd been looking for even if it was a deluded substitute of the real thing. Moans slid from him easily now, past lips red and swollen from biting the sensitive flesh so hard. The coil in the pit of his stomach tightened and his hips jerked again.

"I can't-.. I'm almost-" he choked the words out roughly, brow furrowed and blue eyes intent on the display of the other athlete steadily pumping on the screen in front of him. At some point he'd started going faster, rhythmically erratic, making Stan realize he wasn't the only one desperate to finish.

"Me too.." He barely heard it with the way the others calm voice seemed so strained, so full of need and yet he still had some semblance of control.

He couldn't take it anymore, it was too hot, too intense, too-

"Fuck!" Stan's orgasm hit hard, his back arching and hips jerking with broken spasms as he felt his own release spattered across his sweat-slicked chest, toes curled tightly and reflexively. Faintly he registered his partner doing the same and watched with hooded eyes as cum splattered across the other male's chest much like he'd done. He smiled faintly at the sight and slid down into his seat, reclined and panting with the last traces of orgasm fading and sighing with content as he tried to catch his breath.

He didn't even notice he'd made the biggest mistake of them all.

The other male sat up in his chair suddenly, leaning toward the cam for a moment while Stan stared off at the wall absently behind his desk, trying to gather his thoughts. After a pause came the words that he'd never thought he'd hear.

He really _really_ should have known with his luck.

"You aren't... Stan Marsh, are you?"

Stan instantly sat straight up, shaken and alarmed as he realized he'd slid down far enough to expose the entirety of his face.

Not to mention the guy _knew his fucking name._

While he fought with his natural fight or flight response, he watched as his 'stranger' tilted his cam and exposed himself in turn. Stan _trembled_ with nerves and panic as a handsome face stared back at him, hazel eyes wide with shock and blond hair sweaty and disheveled. Even with his hair skewed he could tell it was normally kept neat and order to one side if only it wasn't so disheveled from-

Oh _fuck._

_Oh holy fucking shit._

Flight won out, panic seizing hold and fast as he ended the conversation all the while stammering and very nearly bouncing in his seat from the way his stomach rolled and turned.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit _shit shit_."

He'd just jacked off not to a complete stranger.

He'd done it to someone he _knew_.

He'd done it to Gary Harrison the _Mormon_ of all people.

Stan honestly didn't think it could get any more fucked up than that.

He should seriously know better with all his shitty luck.

**Ah yes, a rewrite and repost. **

**Again, I thank moo and Nee for this fanfiction to be made possible in the first place and the encouragement of many friends and readers to help me get through this rewrite. Thanks so much everyone!**

**Also, for those that wondered where this fanfiction went in the first place, FFnet deleted it because the word 'fuck' was in the summary. I was waiting to repost it after I finished rewriting and editing it. I'm sure there are still mistakes but I'M OLLIE OUT OF THIS BITCH.  
**

**I don't own South Park or its character, etc.**


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